SLASH FIC: Through the Looking-Glass 4/? [BtVS/Stargate SG-1]

[feygan]

Title: Through the Looking-Glass 4/?
Author: Feygan
Fandom: Buffy/Stargate SG-1
Pairing: Xander/Daniel
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Stargate: SG-1.
LiveJournal: http://feygan.livejournal.com
Home: http://www.darkgesture.com/fanfiction.htm
Summary: Xander jumps realities and ends up at Stargate Command.
.

 

Other than the clean up, it looked like disaster had been averted. No more death and destruction and the red alert was alleviated to a nice shade of amber. Everything looked like it would be able to go back to normal, except that everyone was still either outright staring at him or casting nervous glances his way. It was very self-conscious making.

Finally, Jack couldn't hold it in any longer. "What the hell was that?" he demanded.

Xander looked at the older man and tried to come up with some totally non-weird explanation. In the end, he was forced to settle on the truth. "There were some things I didn't tell you," he said. I didn't want to freak you out or anything, plus, you know, it's never of the good if your shocking revelation results in your being strapped to a table and dissected to see how you tick."

"What... what are you?" Jack asked. "Are you some kind of alien, or something?"

Xander shook his head. "No. I told you that I'm from Sunnydale, which is the Hellmouth, and that in my world there are vampires and demons and witches and all kinds of things that normal people would see as impossible and weird. Well, I didn't want to totally creep you out, but I'm... well, I'm kind of a warlock."

"Wait a minute." Jack held up his hand. "I thought Willow was the witch."

"She is," Xander said, "but I learned along with her. I mean, we're best friends and have been since we were like five. If one of us was going to learn something, then the other was going to too, obviously. If she had been the only one to learn the magics... well, we might not be as close of friends as we are and always've been, you know?"

"So, we've been fighting vampires for nearly three days straight, our guys have been getting hammered, and you could have stopped it at any time?"

Xander lowered his head a little. "I'm really sorry. I just... I didn't know how you were going to react. Plus, that kind of magic is kind of a last resort type of thing. Even now, I don't know what the consequences of my using it here on your world are going to be."

"Consequences? What kind of consequences?" Sam asked.

"Well..." Xander drew in an audible breath, organizing his thoughts around what he was going to say. "You've heard of the butterfly effect, right? A butterfly somewhere flaps its wings and hundreds of miles away a hurricane hits. It's kind of like that. I draw in the power of the Earth here, and all over the world there are earthquakes, freak lightning storms, sudden volcanic eruptions, etc. Magic isn't free. No matter what you do, there are always consequences. With every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

"So what, you save hundreds of us here, but that means thousands of people die somewhere else?" Daniel looked completely appalled.

Xander shrugged. "Who knows. Sometimes the consequences of using powerful magic aren't immediate or even really obvious. Like slow moving ripples, as they go they gather speed and force. So if I were to use enough magic the buildup would be a thing of incredible power, warping the face of the universe as it passes. And if the magic concentrated in one space is strong enough, the ripples keep on going with nothing strong enough to stop them or even slow them down."

"So what did you do today?" Daniel asked.

"Hopefully not much in the grand scheme of things," Xander said. "I saved everyone here and if we're lucky the results of the magic I used won't outweigh the value of the lives I've saved."

"That... that's something to think about," Jack finally said.

Xander sighed. "To worry about. I'm in a different world here. Who knows what my use of that kind of power could mean for the balance of your reality?"

* * *

There was a flare of lightning and the shadow of a horrific beast appeared in the woods around Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado.

Though only the wisp of form, as time passed it would gain the energy necessary to become more than a shadow. And when that time came, it would wreak havoc on the world, warping the fabrics of space and time as it killed everything and anything in its path. All it needed was a bit of time and some energy to absorb.

* * *

"So, this is Colorado, huh?"

Buffy looked at Xander and a little smile quirked her lips. "Yes, Xander, this is Colorado. Home of the trees, land of the mountains. Let's just hope we can solve this little problem and get ourselves back to where we really belong."

"Yes, oh globe-trotting oldest and bravest Slayer sir," Xander said, giving a snappy salute.

Buffy rolled her eyes at him, then grabbed Willow's arm. "Come on, Will. Let's go make a plan and find out what we're doing here and get the job done."

"Plus, you know, we need to do that whole renting a car thing," Xander said, trotting after them, Faith and the two younger Slayers trailing after them.

It was probably overkill for four Slayers, the strongest witch in the world, and Xander to all be here, but Buffy had decreed that it was better to cart around the big guns and not have to use them, than to be helpless in the face of gargantuan evil. The others had agreed for the chance to get away from England and actually see the sun again, even if it was in Colorado.

Twenty minutes later they were on the road, Xander behind the wheel of the SUV they had rented, their bags tossed in the back. Willow was in the front seat with the map while the others fought over what DVD to show next in the back.

"So..." Xander risked a quick glance at Willow. "You and Faith, huh?"

Willow blushed bright red, though a faint smile quirked the corners of her lips. "It was just a one time thing," she said softly.

"Uh uh, sweet stuff," Faith said, leaning over the back of the seat. "You and me... we're gonna have some more fun before it's done."

Willow looked at her, and a sweet smile lifted her lips. "Really?"

"Oh yeah." Faith pressed a kiss against Willow's lips. "Later, baby, me and you are gonna make some noise."

"Can I watch?" Xander asked, then ducked away from Willow's slapping hand. "Sorry, sorry. I couldn't help it."

Driving through Colorado toward the next adventure, Xander couldn't help but to feel that everything was going to be all right. They were going to face down the next Big Bad and everyone was going to come out of it alive.

* * *

"Where the hell is Xander? I need my Xander-shaped friend!"

She could feel them watching her, those horribly worried looks on their faces, wordlessly accusing her. They thought that she was too far over the edge, that she was going to lose control again. They were just waiting for her to shatter into pieces so they could fall all over her and try to make her feel better, try to control her and keep her from doing all those terrible, terribly bad things she had done the last time she had completely lost it.

"Willow, honey, why don't you come sit down with me?" Tara said in a careful voice.

Willow whirled around to face her lover. She could feel the blackness swirling up out of her core, could feel it coating her eyes and hair, soaking into the air around her, polluting it with the Dark Power vibrating in her heart and soul.

"I don't want to sit. I don't want to be calm. All I want is XANDER!" Her voice reverberated through the room, a hissing deepness layered with disquieting echoes. It was the sound of that voice in her own ears that brought her back to herself.

She knelt on the floor, covering her face with her hands, trying to hide the blackness of her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know I promised not to do this again. I know I promised. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm..."

Strong arms went around her shoulders, pulling her against a comfortable chest. "It's all right," Buffy said. "This isn't your fault; we know that. And we will find Xander, no matter where he's gone. Everything will be all right, I promise."

Willow sobbed into Buffy's neck, her body shaking with the power she tried so hard to control.

She needed Xander so bad. He was her anchor, the only thing that kept her from falling back into the darkness that had overtaken her in their junior year of high school. He was the only thing that kept her from becoming a monster.

* * *

After answering Daniel's fascinated questions, Xander retreated back to his cell-like little room. He needed to be alone. There were too many thoughts brimming to the surface of his mind.

The minute he was out of sight of everyone, he began to tremble, his hands jittering like a junkie desperate for a fix, which was kind of what he was.

Little magics didn't really take away from his control, but any hint of real power and he was left jerking around, completely out of control for hours or even days at a time. It was pathetic.

God, Willow, I need you, he thought, but there was no answer. He was alone without his support system to back him up.

It was crazy how things had turned out. He and Willow, best friends since they were five, were so intertwined that one almost couldn't exist without the other. And if he was suffering so bad right now, he couldn't help but to worry about how Willow was doing. But she at least had people around her that loved her and understood what she was going through.

Sure, Buffy could be a little self-righteous sometimes and Giles had a tendency to go "Oh dear..." a lot, but they didn't look down on what he and Willow had become, since it had been done in the name of saving the world and their friends from total destruction.

He could still remember the horror of that night. Another Big Bad to face, this one worse than any they had ever come up against before, and Dawn was in deadly danger. So it was no wonder Willow had taken things into her own hands. She had always been all about her friends.

Xander could still remember the shocked look in Glory's eyes when Willow had teleported between her and the terrified Dawn. Black hair and eyes, her very skin crackling with raw power, Willow had been something to see. Holding onto her control by a thread, seventeen years old and far too young for what she had done to herself.

Power absorption on an epic scale. Willow had drained all the magic books in the library and at the Magic Shop. She had even hacked into Jenny Calendar's magic databases and sucked them dry. By the time she was done, she was one of the most powerful beings on the planet. It was no wonder she had completely lost control...

Flopping backward on his bed, Xander closed his eyes tight, but couldn't keep out the memories, not when he was twitching and crackling so hard. He wanted to use the magic in him. He wanted to just let go of everything and ride the power, but he knew better. Because he had nothing in him to stop him once he started. Little things at first, then bigger and bigger and BIGGER until the world disappeared completely and people died and... No.

He clenched his hands tight at his sides and let the memories take him. He needed to remember what had happened. He needed to be reminded of the consequences that kind of power had, and the vision of Willow almost being consumed completely would bring his feet back down to earth where they belonged.

.

IMAGE: Willow standing between Dawn and Glory, this Look on her face that actually made the crazy goddess back up a step. Just one step.

"What you gonna do, little girl?" Glory cocked her head. "You powered up, so what. You're still nothing to me, so why don't you just get out of the way and let me do what I'm going to do anyway."

"No." Willow's voice was a strange thing, vibrating through the air and so deep that it actually hurt the ears to hear it.

"Holy crap, what did you do Wills?" Xander asked, his voice shaking.

One corner of Willow's mouth went up with something that didn't have anything to do with humor. "What had to be done."

Glory stalked forward. "Whatever, losers. Let's just get this over with so I can grab my Key and go home."

As soon as she was in reach, Glory threw a punch at Willow's face. It sounded like an axe hitting wood.

Willow stumbled a little, but didn't fall. Strength that would have hurt a Slayer, and she just wiped the tiny trickle of blood from under her nose with the back of her hand and grinned. "My turn."

Lightning cracked and Glory was thrown across the courtyard to smash through the stone wall of Giles' downstairs neighbors apartment. There were screams and the sounds of feet running, then Glory was climbing back to her feet and striding forward again, an intent look on her face.

"Lucky shot, bitch." She drew back her arm to hit Willow again, and there was another bolt of lightning and the smell of crisping hair. "Aargh!"

Willow laughed. "You're pathetic. You really think you're some kind of god, but you're so weak that it's just a joke. I don't even know why we were so scared of you anymore. You're NOTHING."

For a second, Glory actually looked scared, but it didn't last long. "I guess you're not as weak as I thought. But you're still going down."

.

The battle Xander had seen that day still left him feeling as though the whole balance of the universe had shifted around him. Willow wasn't supposed to be like that, so strong and cruel and crazy.

Willow was his yellow crayon-breaking friend, sweet and shy and so caring that it was amazing she had been raised in Sunnydale. He had always felt as though he had to watch after Willow, protect her from the rest of the world.

But the Willow facing Glory down was a frightening thing to see. Frightening, horrible, and lovely in a way he didn't even have the words to describe, and not just because he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. He really didn't want to think about why he had been sporting wood that day. Didn't want to think why his breath had come a little fast as he watched Willow systematically break a god down to her base elements. Didn't want to think about how much he had wanted to reach out and grab that same power, to become the same thing as Willow, to once again be an equal of his best friend.

It was crazy and awful, but from the time he was five years old, his life had always been about Willow. Sure, Jesse had been in there for the longest time, but he had killed Jesse when they were fifteen, which had kind of severed the link between him and that possible future. But Willow had always been there. Would always be there.

It had been his love for Willow that had pushed him to try harder at school. It had been Willow's dabbling in the magics that had brought out his own interest. It had been Willow's overriding desire to go to college that had forced him to buckle down and graduate high school and put in his apps for Sunnydale University. It had been Willow being swallowed up by darkness that had brought out his own darkness...

His life had always been tied to Willow. And now he was here, someplace where Willow had probably never existed, anchorless and alone and he didn't quite know what he was supposed to do about that, especially since the magic was burning inside him, trying to eat through his veins and swallow the entire fucking world and...

He drew in a deep shuddering breath, reining himself back in from the crazy.

He could tell that somewhere in the megaverse Willow was losing her control because he could practically feel his eyes burning black. Which was why he refused to open them for the camera.

"Oh Willow, just hold it together baby," he whispered. "Tara, Buffy, Dawn and Giles are still there with you. You're not alone. Just maintain the balance and everything will be all right. Please Willow..."

* * *

"Please Willow..."

Her head jerked up at that almost whisper and Willow turned her head to look at Xander.

Concentrating hard on the driving, determined to overcome his compromised vision, one-eyed Xander didn't even notice her sudden attention. And somehow she was glad of that, because whatever thought had drifted through her head was just weird.

"What's up, Red?" Faith asked.

Willow shrugged and twisted half-sideways in her seat to focus on the Slayer in the backseat. "Nothing. I just had... a weird moment."

"Oh yeah?" Faith propped her elbows on the seat back. "You sensing something weird out there?" She gestured with her chin out the window. "Something for me to take care of?"

Willow shook her head. "No. I just got the shivers, that's all. It's okay."

Faith leaned back in the seat, crossing her arms over her stomach. "Okay. Though I kinda wish something was out there, 'cause this whole deal here? Totally boring. And Captain Yellow-belly's singing? Giving me a migraine."

Xander abruptly stopped humming to himself. "Shut up, Faith!"

The Slayer just smirked.

TBC...