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DVR technology ruined my attention span
I am a vocal proponent of digital video recording systems like ReplayTV and TiVO. But that wonderful technology that I wet dream about at night has completely ruined my life.
I am no longer able to sit through thirty seconds of commercial air without wincing and attempting to fast-forward past the pseudo-Viagra, diarrhea medication, lawn care, and annoying cellphone commercials, shaking and shuddering like a junkie mid-fix. I cannot sit and settle myself for even just a couple of minutes without wanting to QuickSkip to the next scene so I don't have to watch the boring parts, or if something interesting ever happens, I am fast to hit the Instant Replay or the rewind button just so I can watch and thrill in it yet again.
The other day I found myself wanting to fast forward through my everyday life. My thumb was twitching uncontrollably as I watched idiot people pass by the booth I was standing in, and more than anything, I wanted to be on to the next scene, dancing in jubilation at the opportunity to experience the next thrill. And instead I had to actually live my life and I was sadly disappointed.
Like Adam Sandler's character in Click, I find myself wanting to zip past the boring segments and get to the good stuff. But unlike him, the boring parts are really all I have, so if I just keep on fast forwarding, there won't be anything left. Because I live an entirely ordinary life and the only real thrill I get is vicarious, carefully siphoned through the filters of the lives of fictional people the normal world could never create. Because life is a bore from beginning to end, and the writing is always crappy.
I am no longer able to sit through thirty seconds of commercial air without wincing and attempting to fast-forward past the pseudo-Viagra, diarrhea medication, lawn care, and annoying cellphone commercials, shaking and shuddering like a junkie mid-fix. I cannot sit and settle myself for even just a couple of minutes without wanting to QuickSkip to the next scene so I don't have to watch the boring parts, or if something interesting ever happens, I am fast to hit the Instant Replay or the rewind button just so I can watch and thrill in it yet again.
The other day I found myself wanting to fast forward through my everyday life. My thumb was twitching uncontrollably as I watched idiot people pass by the booth I was standing in, and more than anything, I wanted to be on to the next scene, dancing in jubilation at the opportunity to experience the next thrill. And instead I had to actually live my life and I was sadly disappointed.
Like Adam Sandler's character in Click, I find myself wanting to zip past the boring segments and get to the good stuff. But unlike him, the boring parts are really all I have, so if I just keep on fast forwarding, there won't be anything left. Because I live an entirely ordinary life and the only real thrill I get is vicarious, carefully siphoned through the filters of the lives of fictional people the normal world could never create. Because life is a bore from beginning to end, and the writing is always crappy.